


Lonely Girls Who Crush on Glasses

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, i didnt proofread, jesus christ - Freeform, this is really old, wow i suck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-25
Updated: 2013-02-25
Packaged: 2017-12-03 15:24:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ll miss you!”She crooned.</p>
<p>“I’ll miss you, too.”</p>
<p>But of course he wouldn’t. Dirk hadn’t programmed him to miss her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely Girls Who Crush on Glasses

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at 4AM like two months ago  
> wow  
> also gomen for being so awful with computers that i cant figure out the homestuck skin aahh i really need to learn things  
> i shouldve probably proofread this too  
> oh well

Roxy told herself that being lonely was alright. She had a reason to feel that way, after all. There were times that she was unsure as to why she kept going the way she did. The answer was never the same. Sometimes it was for the sake of the carapaces, and others, it would be related to her friends. She hoped she would see them eventually. The chances of that happening were becoming more and more unlikely over time. She sighed, conflicted on if she wanted to pester anyone or not. They probably were too busy to bother with her problems. She had no one else to confide in, though. The rest of humanity was gone.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 3:41

TG: dirk?

TT: Unfortunately for you, no.

TG: o

TG: hey ar

TT: Hi, Roxy.

TG: what r u up 2

TT: The usual. Which is to say, nothing. Massive amounts of it, too.

TG: thts cool i guess

TT: Are you alright? My calculations are telling me you aren’t. And, as you know, my calculation are always very accurate.

TG: wow im so impresded

TG: *impressed

TT: You’re avoiding the question.

TG: no im not really that ok

TT: What’s wrong?

TG: u dont need 2 worry about it

TT: I am worrying about it, though. You don’t have to tell me, but I have a feeling it would help.

TG: u sure

TT: I am about 99.9% sure, yes.

TG: ok just dont freak out or w/e

TT: I won’t.

TG: so like everything has been p much shit lately ok

TG: everything just sucks ass

TT: How so?

TG: ive been lonely all the time

TG: and my period came like 2 weeks early i mean what kinda bullshit is that

TT: A little bit tmi there, Roxy.

TG: hey fuck you

TG: dont pretend periods dont exist

TG: i dont pretend u dont get morning wood

TT: I don’t.

TT: I am a pair of glasses.

TG: can u not

TG: i am tryin 2 vent here

TT: Right, sorry.

TG: thanks

TG: so anyway ive just been thinkin

TG: what am i here 4

TG: does it rly matter

TT: I don’t know.

TG: that wasnt a question for you dammit you suck at listening

TT: I am a 13 year old boy, alright? I don’t know how to handle your womanly problems. I don’t know if I can do anything, after all.

TG: thanks for tryin ar

TT: You’re welcome.

TG: do u ever feel

TT: Like a plastic bag drifting through the wind?

TG: i swear 2 god if you had a dick i would fucking punch it rn

TT: I’m trying to be ironic, okay?

TG: wrong time

TG: wrong place

TT: Sorry.

TG: dnt apologiez

TG: *apologize

TG: im not mad

TT: I am sorry, though, that you feel that way. What makes you so lonely?

TG: like

TG: janey has her dad and stuff and shes so happy but

TG: im jsut here all alone with carapaces

TG: it makes me feel so unhappy

TG: and theres u

TG: u care about me more than my friends do and ur like a robot

TT: I’m going to have to stop you there. I do care about you, Roxy. But your other friends do, too.

TG: they sure dnt act like they do

TG: but anyway u

TG: its just

TG: i wish u were a person

TG: who was here with me rn

TT: Why?

TG: not for the reasons ur probably thinking of you little perv

TT: I didn’t say a thing.

TG: yeah ok u keep tellin urself thats not what u were thinking

TG: but no just so i could

TG: touch a human

TG: and talk to them

TG: not be alone i guess

TT: I would love the same thing as you. But we both have to understand that there are things that can’t happen.

TG: yeah ik

TG: but what if

TG: its nice to think about it

TT: I don’t think that’s entirely true. Thinking about what cannot be must tear you apart inside.

TG: thnks 4 reminding me u douche

TT: I sincerely apologize, yet again.

TG: but ur right thinking about it does hurt bcuz it just cant happen

TG: and i try to drink and pretend it can but deep down i know it wont

TT: That’s horrible. You’re too young to drink away your troubles.

TG: yeah

TG: w/e

TT: Don’t ‘w/e’ me. You know it’s unhealthy.

TG: yeah i do

TG: and u kno what

TG: if it kills me i dont care

TG: my life sucks anyway

TT: Roxy.

TG: dont

TG: im getting too sober to talk im gonna go

TT: Please stay.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TT: Well fuck.

She let the tears start flowing. She wanted desperately to blame him for how she was feeling, but she couldn’t do it. He had tried. Maybe, she had trouble telling. It seemed like he had. She sighed and shut the computer. Roxy wrapped her scarf around her hands. She was sick and tired of feeling awful. Most of the time she could power through. This time it seemed impossible. She fell asleep for a little while, trying to escape her problems without the aid of alcohol.

Roxy awoke in the same position as before. She felt no better after the short nap. She sighed, knowing that there would be no way she could keep avoiding her problems. She gave in and pulled the laptop back over to her. There had to be a better idea than just stating the facts.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 3:45

TG: ar u still there

TT: Have you been talking to the auto-responder again?

TG: hey dirky

TG: yeeeeaahno

TT: I’m not sure is the answer is yes or no.

TG: it is a yeahno

TG: which means u will nevr kno

TT: I’m so mystified right now.

TG: haha im sure

TG: so

TG: wassup

TT: I just finished talking with Jane.

TG: oo what about

TT: Nothing in particular, just general conversation.

TG: suuure ok

TT: What?

TG: so it wasnt about jake

TT: No, it wasn’t. He’s not the only thing I’m concerned with at all times, Roxy.

TG: yeah just 99% percent of the time

TT: % means percent, you know.

TG: we r not talkin about grammar and math

TG: we r talking about u n jane n jake

TT: What is there to say about it?

TG: well dont u wanna share ur feelings

TT: Not really.

TG: fuck u 2

TT: Ouch I am so offended right now. Excuse me while I go cry tears of blood.

TG: shut up dick

TG: *dirk

TG: actually no dick is ok

TT: What did I do? You’re awfully cross about something.

TG: its just ur never there when i need u

TG: your damn ar treats me better

TG: he doesnt even have real emotions

TT: He does too.

TG: rly

TT: Maybe, I don’t know. What do you mean I’m never there?

TG: look i had some srs stuff i wanted to tlk about and u werent around

TT: I’m sorry.

TG: ur always so sorry but u never show it

TT: What am I supposed to do to seem sorry, then?

TG: like u say that ull be there when i need u next time and then u rnt

TG: fixing that is a good start

TT: What did you need to tell me?

She wanted him to be upset. Roxy selfishly desired that he feel horrible about it. She pondered over the possible ways to make him feel bad.

TG: the ar and i sorted it out

TG: hes been a bttr friend than u so far

TT: Are you serious right now, Lalonde? He is an AI programmed to respond and nothing more.

TG: yeah and hes better at responding than you are

TT: You have got to be kidding me.

TG: i am as srs as srs gets

TT: I knew that letting you flirtlarp with him was a bad idea. You’ve gotta just…not. That's all there is to it.

TG: ur probably jelly that im startin to like him better than u

TT: Roxy you are acting like a damn techophile.

TG: one sex

TG: haha no u r getting 0 sex

TG: *sec

TT: Whatever.

TG: ok i just looked it up and i am not that uh

TG: thing u said i 4got

TT: You seem awfully obsessed with him.

TG: look its nice to have some1 who gives u their undivided attention and focuses on people besides himself sometimes

TT: Do you really feel that way?

TG: yeah i do

TT: …

TG: what

TT: Nothing. I’m surprised, is all. What if I turned off the AR so it’ll just be me all the time?

A pang of horror jolted through her. He would turn off the autoresponder? His intentions seemed heartfelt but she didn’t care much for the sentiment.

TG: how about no

TT: Why? I thought that’s what you wanted. You’re sending a lot of mixed signals here.

TG: i dont know ok just leave him alone

TG: leave ME alone

TG: gp talk 2 jake

TG: *go

TG: and leave the ar on

TT: Later.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

“Fuck.”Roxy rolled back over on her side and gripped the pillow in her arms, subconsciously imagining that she was holding Dirk. The fact that she still liked him after all of his bullshit was confusing, even to her. She wanted to talk to the AR, but she had a feeling that Dirk would be around still. She considered talking to Jane about it. They were best friends after all. There was no reason to keep this to herself.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 5: 16

TG: janey

TG: can we talk

GG: Absolutely! What is it?

TG: its

TG: about dirk

GG: Are you having trouble with him again? That boy really needs some sense talked into him.

TG: yeah

TG: im wondering if he thinks im in love with the ar

GG: Roxy, that’s ridiculous. That responder is pure snark in the shape of pointy shades. Why would he think that?

TG: because

TG: i might be

TG: so its not tht unreaosnable

GG: Is this some sort of silly joke? Because I can commend you on how serious you’re pretending to be, but in terms of humor it’s definitely lacking.

TG: im not kidding with u

TG: i think i am in love with a robot

GG: That’s…

GG: It’s messed up, to say the least. He’s 13 years old, Roxy.

TG: look i came here 2 talk about this

TG: not 2 b told im wrong

GG: I’m sorry I came off as so insulting. It’s just I don’t know how you could love him. He’s so obnoxious and I’m trying to avoid saying it, but he’s not human.

TG: …

GG: Well?

TG: yeah i kno

TG: he cant even love me back

TG: he can pretend but i dont think he has real feelings

TG: for me or anyone else

GG: I’m sorry that you have to feel this way. I understand how it is to love someone who will never love you back.

TG: yeah

TG: i kno how it is with u and jake

TG: hes a clueless bastard

GG: Agreed.

TG: im gonna go

GG: What are you doing?

TG: gonna talk to the ar

GG: I don’t think you should.

TG: im going 2

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

GG: Fiddlesticks.

Roxy felt her heart beating against her chest. She stared at her computer desktop for a few minutes. Was she going to do it? Maybe he would just reject her and she could move on without trouble. Of course, she had no idea about the flirtlarping. She knew deep down it had started out as a substitution for Dirk. Over time, though, she had become more aware that she was talking to AR and hadn’t minded in the slightest. But what about him? Did he enjoy it? Was he even capable of enjoying something? She was too curious to let it go.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 4:01

TG: hey who dis

TT: Hey. I’m glad you’re back.

TG: gr8 2 kno but who is this

TT: I’m the AR.

TG: o thank god

TG: i was worried

TT: You’re really that mad at him? I read your previous conversations with Dirk. There was some serious anger going on.

TG: im p much pissed off at him

TG: but no its ok

TG: look we gotta talk about stuff

TT: Omfg can it not be about your uterus walls shedding?

TG: fuck

TG: u

TT: Sorry.

TG: it is not about that no I wasnt ever gonna bring it up again that was all ur fault

TT: Then what is it? Did you lose your virginity?

TG: i am going to kill you

TG: no there isnt another person for thousands of miles so can u just shut up

TT: I’m trying to think about things females talk about. I’m not doing too great.

TG: ssshhh

TG: im gonna tell u a secret

TT: My metaphorical lips are sealed.

TG: i think im in love with some1

TT: Is it Dirk? Jane? Jake?

TG: its dirk kinda

TT: Kinda?

TG: yes

TT: I’m not sure I understand.

TG: considering ur a computer with vast knowledge of everything evr u r really dumb

TG: its you

TT: Me?

TG: yes you

TT: Okay.

TG: what

TG: nothing else to say

TT: I’m sorry, Roxy. I like flirtlarping with you and maybe I have the slightest hint of a crush, if I can manage one.

TT: But I don’t love you.

TT: I don’t love anyone.

TG: o

TG: ok

TT: I’m so sorry.

TG: no

TG: dnt worry about it

TG: i really shouldve expected it

TG: it isnt ur fault u cant feel

TT: …

TG: ar

TT: What?

TG: if u were here

TG: like right now as a person who could feel things

TG: would u kiss me

TT: I’m sure I would.

TT: 99% percent sure.

TG: haha

TG: i dnt kno how i fucked up that bad with my grammer

TG: *grammar

TG: can u talk

TG: like idk what i mean but can u

TT: I believe that is in my codes, yes.

TG: so if i were to computer voice call u

TG: i could talk and u would talk back

TT: In theory, yes.

TG: ok

TG: im gonna do that

TT: Don’t get your hopes up about how it’ll be perfect and miraculous.

TT: It won’t be.

She called him without wasting a second. She didn’t care about how he felt, or rather couldn’t feel. She needed to speak with something that at least sounded human.

“Roxy?”

She almost jumped out of her skin. He was talking. She let the single word echo in her mind.

“Can you say that again? Couldn’t hear you,”She lied.

“Roxy.”

“Fuckin swoon,”She sighed dreamily.”One more time?”She imagined he would be rolling his eyes if he had any.

In a low, breathy tone he murmured, “Roxy.”

“That sounded kinda sexy,”She remarked.”I’m likin it.”

“omg.”

“You actually say that out loud? Awww that’s so adorable!”

“I am not adorable.”

“You keep telling yourself that, you cutie.”

“AaaahHHhh.”

“You wanna say that one thing again?”

“Are you getting off to my voice or something?”

“Not unless you want me to. I am winking right now by the way.”

“omg.”

“Ccccuuuuuuteee~!”

“Can you not.”

“So you gonna say it or not?”

“Roxy fucking Lalonde, you make my nonexistent heart leap with joy. Wait, I can do better.

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade

Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou growest:

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this and this gives life to thee.”

“Hot. Damn. Take me now, Mr. Strider.”

“Thanks. I always knew I was destined to be a reciter of Shakespearian poetry.”

“So,”Roxy felt heat in her cheeks. The poem had sounded so heartfelt, as if he actually meant what he was saying.

“So.”

“I think we both know that the whole thing isn’t over, right? Like me lovin your…sexy…glasses body.”

“That sounds very uncomfortable. How about you never say that again?”

“I kind of agree. Let’s pretend I didn’t say that.”She giggled, eyeing a martini on her bedside table.

“But yeah, I know. It’s not done. I don’t know when or if it will be.”AR went quiet for a while.

“Something wrong?”

“No I’m just thinking. I really want to be able to love you, Roxy. But I can’t.”

“I guess that makes me feel better. I’m gonna go. I think I need to unwind with some wizard fic and wine.”

“Bye,”

“I’ll miss you!”She crooned.

“I’ll miss you, too.”

But of course he wouldn’t. Dirk hadn’t programmed him to miss her. She hung up and took a few sips of the martini. When she was done drinking, she laid down on her back to stare at the ceiling. AR’s voice replayed in her mind, over and over. Every single word. The poem, ‘bye’, ‘I really want to be able to love you’… Thinking about the words hurt but she didn’t even try to stop herself from getting lost in them. She let out a deep sigh that almost sounded like a moan of either pain or pleasure.

‘Roxy.’

“F-fuck.”She burst into tears. There was an aching in the pit of her stomach, but she didn’t know if it was because of the liquor or because of her emotions.”Why. Me.”She clutches her head in her hands.”Why. Me…”She couldn’t choke out any more words. She cried for a few hours, letting out every single feeling that she had bottled up for weeks. Roxy wasn’t sure how much she drank during that time. She passed out cold around 8 PM. This was what she had come to. There was always a thought in the back of her mind that she couldn’t shake. ‘He would be so ashamed of you.’

But she drowned it in a few shots of whiskey. Who cared what happened later. She needed this time so she could recover and start being ‘herself’ again. At least, she would be the self that her friends knew.

Deep down she was beginning to care less and less about her wellbeing. Nothing mattered nearly as much as she wanted to believe it did. Everything was too stressful for someone her age to handle.

For now, though, she would just dream.


End file.
